BIPOLAR POEM-VERSION SECOND

Because Mom said she "didn't know where to start"
I always thought there were options
I didn't have to start at the beginning
I could start in the middle and go in all directions
if I wanted to

And that is what I have mostly done all my life.
And since I am always somewhere in the middle,
it is okay to jump from here to there
and I never work to the end,

I have the prospect of how and what will be done
from the map in my brain
Yes, the map in my brain.!
The map in my brain keeps everything straight.
It fits the pieces together.
I do not ever think about them.

I just keep going, faster and faster,
often with great passion.
Invariably things are accomplished to perfection
with great dedication and extreme effort.

I am exhilarated and exhausted
I wish sometimes that I knew moderation,
that I were not compulsive and driven
That I knew how to stop myself..

It is marvelous to be intelligent, motivated,
creative, energetic and accomplished--.
to be inquisitive and engrossed in life.
Though sometimes I would give up the passion
for just one day of going at a sensible pace.
But, then, I would not be Michele

Suddenly, the great headlong sinking
lower and lower, faster and faster
my spirit is falling, I’m petulant, I’m melancholy
my world is spinning out of focus

I DO NOT WANT TO BE HERE!!!
the pain is too great..
And again, I must bring this disorder under my control
with medicine, counseling, and sheer will as I remember,

"Who would tell the children and what would they say?"

m jajdelskicampbell copyright may 2004